Every night (with very few exceptions for when we’re truly exhausted), we let the kittens into our room to sleep. They almost always start out as little fur balls curled up at the foot of the bed. I often end up sleeping in weird diagonal lines across the bed, with my legs positioned so as not to disturb Dora or Diego from their warm little spots.
But I’m not always so accommodating. On the nights when they decide to channel Satan and behave like wild, possessed cats, I have to put my foot down.
It usually starts precisely at 6:20 a.m., when Diego begins his exercise circuit. First, he jumps down from the bed and back up onto to my nightstand, knocking the lamp with his tail in the process. Then he takes aim and lands up on our headboard, teeter-tottering above our heads as he paces the length of the board back and forth. When he’s done with that, he lands right next to my face – always a great way to be startled awake from sleep. And when all that’s done, he climbs under our bed, and begins wildly scratching at the underside of the box spring – managing to shake the entire bed in the process.
In the alternative, some nights he simply brings over his toy goat – which baahs loudly when pressed — or decides to give himself a very loud bath. In these instances, I begin to get out of bed to kick him out. Thinking I want to play (and he falls for this every time), he promptly begins running out of the bedroom and down the hallway.
This gives me 5 seconds to locate Dora in the dark, and try to grab her and put her outside before she smartens up to my plan – because otherwise it’s over. If she realizes what’s happening, she will promptly jump down and run under the bed, where she will stay until she’s certain we’re done looking for her.
If she’s in a deep sleep, however, I can usually scoop her up with no trouble. This is where she’ll make this little whimper, like “hey, i was sleeping and i’m so comfy and why do you have to kick me out just because my brother’s a butthead please let me stay i love you.”
So, right after my heart is broken into pieces by this tiny little kitteh plea, I gently place her just outside the room, close the door and try to remind myself that cats do not have short-term memories and will most likely forget that I kicked them out in the first place in a few hours.
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